Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
