All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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