if i can run in heels then i can drive
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
