I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
