i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize