thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
