Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My bed smells like the plague
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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