Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
