I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize