You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
