You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
