The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
