Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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