You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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