Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
