I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
