It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
