drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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