I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
