I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
