You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
