Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
