If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
