fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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