oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
