I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
