Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
