he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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