They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize