That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
