The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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