I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
