It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Can i not drive my cunt home
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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