yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
