just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
