Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
