that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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