I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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