her vagine was all disorganized.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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