i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
