: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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