We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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