What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
