he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
