8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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