I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
