i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize