oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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