He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
