I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
