so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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