He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
