I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
