Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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