Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need to calm my uterus...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
