All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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