You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
