that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
