Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
