I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have post one night stand depression
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