so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
